(no subject)

[fifteendozentimes]

Hello bandom! Specifically Panic! fandom. I would like to take a minute to talk about Spencer Smith (yay!) and language (boo).

Spencer Smith has some stereotypically feminine interests and habits - his eyebrow grooming, his penchant for shoes, his (former?) love of pink shirts and sparkly things. I think we can all agree that none of those things are actually exclusive to girls, and that loving them doesn't make someone a girl (nor does not loving them make someone a guy).

Spencer also has a somewhat feminine face, particularly when he was younger and didn't have facial hair quite so often, and feminine hips. I think we can all also agree that having a defined waist, having hips, having pretty eyelashes and soft features, doesn't make someone a girl, any less than being a straight line from armpit to knees makes someone a guy.

Spencer Smith is not, and never has been, a girl. Not because he has a cock or a beard, but because he identifies, and (to the best of fandom's knowledge) always has, as a guy.

Calling Spencer a girl (and I don't mean "he look(s/ed) like a lesbian", which bothers me but not to the same extent, but "when he was a girl/when he was a lesbian/etc.") implies that Spencer's gender identity is less important than your assumption about what a pink shirt and curvy hips means.

Spencer probably won't ever see people calling him a girl; if he does, he probably won't be bothered by it, because lots of cis people have a frustrating ability to just laugh off misgendering, especially when it isn't serious.

But I - and I know I'm not the only trans person in bandom, although I can't speak for how anyone else feels about this - do see it. And I don't have that ability to laugh it off, because even when I know the intent behind it isn't in any way malicious, what you are actually saying, what I am actually seeing, is yet another reinforcing of the idea that in order to have your gender identity respected, you have to meet someone else's idea of what being a guy or girl actually is.

So please, when you're about to talk about when a cis dude was a girl, consider what you're really saying when you define someone's gender by which stereotypes they align with or how "pretty" their face is.

Comments

[anoneknewmoose]

*DRAWS HEARTS AROUND THIS POST*

This exact issue has been irritating the tar out of me (a cisgender gal, ftr/fwiw) during my entire bandom life of 3.5 years. Related (though I don't intend to derail): Gerard Way is not actually a "pretty lady." Fucking stop it.

[fleurdeliser]

Thumbs fucking UP. I've been composing a similar post re: Gerard for a few weeks now.

[flakeofemerald]

I have honestly never thought about this but when you say it it makes so much sense

[harriet_vane]

RIGHT ON. I've been so frustrated with this for what feels like forever.

[draconic_girl]

Well said. I'm so glad I was linked to this post. I think you made a good point about word use.

(I myself don't feel any particular affinity towards either gender when it comes to my gender identity and that's why I struggle with people's expectations about gender and why people behaving like this bothers me too.)

*hugs*

[lalejandra]

A+++++++++
♥

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you so fucking much for this post. Agreed, 100%. (I read on LJ, but commenting here because that's where the commenting was linked to.)

[stele3.insanejournal.com]

Point acknowledged. I might have done it myself in the past, and I do apologize.

[epershand]

WORD.

[foursweatervests]

YES.