fifteendozentimes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fifteendozentimes) wrote2011-08-29 04:03 pm
fifteendozentimes) wrote2011-08-29 04:03 pm
(no subject)
Hello bandom! Specifically Panic! fandom. I would like to take a minute to talk about Spencer Smith (yay!) and language (boo).
Spencer Smith has some stereotypically feminine interests and habits - his eyebrow grooming, his penchant for shoes, his (former?) love of pink shirts and sparkly things. I think we can all agree that none of those things are actually exclusive to girls, and that loving them doesn't make someone a girl (nor does not loving them make someone a guy).
Spencer also has a somewhat feminine face, particularly when he was younger and didn't have facial hair quite so often, and feminine hips. I think we can all also agree that having a defined waist, having hips, having pretty eyelashes and soft features, doesn't make someone a girl, any less than being a straight line from armpit to knees makes someone a guy.
Spencer Smith is not, and never has been, a girl. Not because he has a cock or a beard, but because he identifies, and (to the best of fandom's knowledge) always has, as a guy.
Calling Spencer a girl (and I don't mean "he look(s/ed) like a lesbian", which bothers me but not to the same extent, but "when he was a girl/when he was a lesbian/etc.") implies that Spencer's gender identity is less important than your assumption about what a pink shirt and curvy hips means.
Spencer probably won't ever see people calling him a girl; if he does, he probably won't be bothered by it, because lots of cis people have a frustrating ability to just laugh off misgendering, especially when it isn't serious.
But I - and I know I'm not the only trans person in bandom, although I can't speak for how anyone else feels about this - do see it. And I don't have that ability to laugh it off, because even when I know the intent behind it isn't in any way malicious, what you are actually saying, what I am actually seeing, is yet another reinforcing of the idea that in order to have your gender identity respected, you have to meet someone else's idea of what being a guy or girl actually is.
So please, when you're about to talk about when a cis dude was a girl, consider what you're really saying when you define someone's gender by which stereotypes they align with or how "pretty" their face is.
Spencer Smith has some stereotypically feminine interests and habits - his eyebrow grooming, his penchant for shoes, his (former?) love of pink shirts and sparkly things. I think we can all agree that none of those things are actually exclusive to girls, and that loving them doesn't make someone a girl (nor does not loving them make someone a guy).
Spencer also has a somewhat feminine face, particularly when he was younger and didn't have facial hair quite so often, and feminine hips. I think we can all also agree that having a defined waist, having hips, having pretty eyelashes and soft features, doesn't make someone a girl, any less than being a straight line from armpit to knees makes someone a guy.
Spencer Smith is not, and never has been, a girl. Not because he has a cock or a beard, but because he identifies, and (to the best of fandom's knowledge) always has, as a guy.
Calling Spencer a girl (and I don't mean "he look(s/ed) like a lesbian", which bothers me but not to the same extent, but "when he was a girl/when he was a lesbian/etc.") implies that Spencer's gender identity is less important than your assumption about what a pink shirt and curvy hips means.
Spencer probably won't ever see people calling him a girl; if he does, he probably won't be bothered by it, because lots of cis people have a frustrating ability to just laugh off misgendering, especially when it isn't serious.
But I - and I know I'm not the only trans person in bandom, although I can't speak for how anyone else feels about this - do see it. And I don't have that ability to laugh it off, because even when I know the intent behind it isn't in any way malicious, what you are actually saying, what I am actually seeing, is yet another reinforcing of the idea that in order to have your gender identity respected, you have to meet someone else's idea of what being a guy or girl actually is.
So please, when you're about to talk about when a cis dude was a girl, consider what you're really saying when you define someone's gender by which stereotypes they align with or how "pretty" their face is.
no subject
This exact issue has been irritating the tar out of me (a cisgender gal, ftr/fwiw) during my entire bandom life of 3.5 years. Related (though I don't intend to derail): Gerard Way is not actually a "pretty lady." Fucking stop it.